Local authorities have today made an appeal to the public for help in the search for what they are describing as a well schooled perpetrator who may have be involved in unlawful activity in and around the greater Nelson area recently. The following details have been released…
Name of suspect: Ned Kelly
Information as to the nature of any offending:
Kelly is likely to be spoken to in regards to the stealing of silverware along with an amount of cash on the date of Friday the 8th of January from Richmond Park. While it appears that this is Kelly’s first offense the brazen nature of it convinces authorities that it may well not be his last and the public are encouraged to stay vigilant in the hope that their knowledge can lead to the apprehension of the suspect.
Information as to the suspects physical appearance.
Brown complexion, wears his hair long at the back of his head, has the peculiar trait of walking on all fours, fleet-footed, carries an identifying brand / tattoo upon his neck,owns a variety of shoes that are replaced consistently, is known to sweat and prance around a bit.
Information as to the suspect’s family.
Mother:
Name: Kelly Maguire
Occupation: Homemaker
Comment: Kelly is known to be a loving mother of seven. While Ned might be the problem child she has reportedly been an outstanding mother to son Positano who now resides in Australia.
Father:
Name: Art
Occupation:Major in the armed forces.
Comment: Self made millionaire. Ladies man. Known to be conducting hundreds of affairs every year with female acquaintances. Very good athlete in his day being a star of the track and field scene in America.
Known whereabouts:
Ned Kelly has been seen in and around the Epsom region of Auckland in the past and is known to frequent the area of Pukekohe. He has connections within Christchurch and indeed the greater Canterbury region while a residence in the Woodend area north of Christchurch City is also likely to be a property of interest. Ned is known to travel in a large van / trailer.
Known acquaintances
Mr Robert J Dunn and Mr John Dunn (father and son) have been known to travel with Ned and may be offering both aid and shelter to him at this point in time. It isn’t known if these men are armed although there have been sightings of both men in possession of whips in the past. A new man has also recently come to the attention of authorities and may be an accomplice,possibly, surprisingly, with the surname Newman!
Known character traits of acquaintances
R J Dunn (Robert): Easy to approach, both jovial and talkative. He has been known to find work with animals although most will know him through his work as a master musician. Just what instrument he plays is yet to be determined.
John Dunn: Known leader, likely to leave middle-aged woman spellbound with his good looks, astute, hangs out with a small group of friends namely Robbie Burns, Henry Hubert and a girl he lovingly calls Miss Daisy.
What to do if you do see Ned Kelly:
Ned Kelly isn’t currently regarded as dangerous. If you do see him you might want to talk to him regarding his next heist in order to get the inside word on where he’ll target next.
If you have any information at all that may assist in this enquiry then please do not hesitate to call and give your much needed help, you can ring our hotline on 0800 GLENROWAN that’s 0800 GLENROWAN. Alternatively you can donate money to help with recovering the costs of the investigation by depositing funds into the “Kelly Account” at the bank of Euroa.
PS: Video footage of the suspect has been acquired and the public has been asked to review the tape in the view that it may well lead to the arrest of the individual in question.
Video Link Provided here (click to view footage of the crime)
Ben McMillan